not again...

the next time i hear [song] in a wedding i will gouge my ears with [object]*.

[song]
1. lucky – jason mraz featuring colbie caillat
2. accidentally in love – counting crows
3. grow old with you – adam sandler

[object]
1. barbecue stick
2. screw driver
3. cactus


*subject to availability. if unavailable [object] will be replaced by my trusty swiss knife+.

+includes ref, family computer and an ATV

when i decide...

to finally live the rest of my days as if it were my last, i'd play hooky forever then.

it's the chase

you know what i'd like to see in a car chase scene in a movie? the actual car of the protagonist running out of gas. that's right mister action star you should've checked the fuel gauge before macho hot wiring that car. serves you right.

warning

dear future-self,

one day your future-significant other (yes, present-self is still unattached as of current write date of this letter. losah.) will hate you for some of the things you've written here in this blog, eventhough that it's all in the past. just reassure her that most of what's written here is tounge in cheek.

better yet show her this post.

that is all. you have been duly warned.

now and always,
past-self

p.s. you are awesome!

(de)humanized

you know the folly of communicating electronically, i.e. text messaging, phone calls, video calls, chatting, etc., you can never really tell if the person on the other end is at full attention with your conversation. that's why i still prefer talking to someone personally, at least then you have a visual cue if you're being a total douche or if you're giving her the sleeper hold through your words or if you're tickling her fancy just right.

chatting is this generation's telebabad.

it's just a phase

i think i'm done with my rachel phase because i i've already downloaded most of her movies. (o why can't i find proper torrents for red eye and married life?) but i still love her cheekbones!

bye rachel!

moving on to zooey phase. i really liked her spontaneous character in yes man and i loved/hated her in (500) days of summer. time to queue my downloads! :)

hello zooey!

~~~

i need me a quirky, reckless scooter driving, camera tottin', lead singer to a rad band with seahorse band members and who makes out with out of gas guys IRL.

template

adding quirky (in a good way), out of my league and unattainable to the list.

here's what we have so far,
1. in between cute and pretty but leaning more towards cute rather than pretty.
2. cheekbones
3. sexy na di payat
4. quirky in a good way
5. out of my league
6. unattainable

yeah, that's just about right.

yes fear!

who ever said that you should face your fears most probably hadn't thought of that statement while suspended precariously sixty feet in the air with only a single static rappelling rope holding him from plummeting to the ground ending in brain splatter. but i have. and no semblance of that thought crossed my mind.

a week ago me and my office mates went to subic for a weekend getaway. we spent the night on the beach (ocean view resort), with food up to our armpits and overflowing alcohol. we did a bit of cold night swimming in between stuffing our belies to our hearts' content (damn you food! i gained 1.8lbs on that weekend alone. grr.) and fueling our blood with alcohol as if we're gas guzzler vehicles personified. we easily finished that bottle of absolut and the bar in record time thanks to the drinking game i learned while i was in australia. although the two empty bottles weren't the only thing toppled after that. body count anyone?

the night (morning) would've been perfect if not for the unforeseeable event (unforeseeable because i was pretty much hammered by then) of me trying to play sea soccer with a sea urchin thus resulting in two, yes you read that right, two spines stuck on my left big toe. and let me tell you this, no amount of toxic sludge would've prevented me from feeling that. the death darts were about an inch long and just about as thick as your average needle. (a single picture of the spines still protruding from my toe would've turned this painful experience into awesome sauce!) instinctively i pulled out the first spine. success! the second one was a semi-loss because part of it was still lodged in my toe. (and still is up until now! FML.) went to the john to pee on the little sucker. first aid dude. what transpired after that is all a haze to me and i blame it on the a-a-a-a-alchohol.

woke up late morning with a sore toe and an even sore-r head. (maybe it was the ill effects of the late ash wednesday blessing via used charcoal that i had courtesy of a certain someone. lintik lang ang walang ganti. mwahaha! jok!) took a bath then had brunch consisting of rice(tons of it!), fried spam and corned-beef-omelet-con-araojo.

we went back to the house of our office mate to drop off some of the stuff that we've borrowed. (thanks tita!) then left for the tree top adventure where i met my doom. you see i am not fond of heights, not fond meaning terrified, terrified meaning knee-knocking going insanely berserk afraid. but, but i thought (thought being the operative word) i've already out grew that fear since i've been on countless space shuttle and other height defying rides. (just the the thought of all of those stomach curling rides makes my palms sweat.) what i didn't realize is that all of these rides have one thing in common, they are actually rides; rides wherein you basically have something to hang on to as opposed to dangling in nothing but thin air. i really thought i was in good shape up there on the platform and i was still okay as i was stepping slowly out of it. but then nothing separated me from the ground below. and then i froze, specifically my left arm which was holding onto the tree drop guy's arm. the thing is all of that time i spent there holding on in my head i was telling my left arm to let go. let go dammit!! i did a couple of deep breaths to no avail. panic still won. eventually i did let go and still did the "drop" by wussing out and holding on to a rope while going down.

and now to the point of this whole blog post: FU face your fears person guy!

kidding aside, it was really a liberating and revealing experience. what next? bungee jumping? sky diving perhaps? (asa pa! :P)

i had a blast last weekend mainly due to the people i was with. and here we are...

lucky 13! (13th person behind the lens)

sa uulitin!

delusions of grandeur

you know what sucks? thinking that you have a chance to be with someone then finding out through her multiply/friendster/facebook/tumblr/twitter/plurk/myspace/formspring that you're infinitely worlds apart. there goes your ego, out the window of the 14th floor. splat!

~~~

btw, add me up in any of the above social networking sites.

against

men in restrooms shouldn't (1) make eye contact and (2) talk. come on guys let's just reserve the staring outside the john and preferably with the opposite sex and leave all the talking to women (because its what they do best). just concentrate on your whizzing or tail growing.

got it? good. now back off.

apathetic

i miss my old self. the one who had the gusto and penchant to just write whatever comes to his mind. i've become too much uncaring, indifferent, disinterested, flat, vapid that i don't even have a proper ending for this post.

prospect fail

internet i love you; you save me from the shame of wearing my heart on my sleeve as i attempt to ask somebody out.

but should i really take what you say at face value?

i did a quick check of whatever information i fed to you and not all of it is true. so this only means that what you tell me is not absolute. maybe what i read wasn't true; maybe there's still a chance; maybe i still have chance; maybe...

o crap, i just saw the picture.

next!

favor

ladies do us men a favor and

1. don't pair a black bra with a white shirt,
2. don't wear lingerie-esque bras with paper thin tops (felix bakat action),
3. and/or less of chest outs


to prevent us from ogling your treasure chests.

heartbreak

isn't it the worst when you find out your ex-crush, niligawan, girlfriend, fiancee, wife, and/or everything just got married?

handshakes

are they too formal during introductions these days?

what i notice nowadays is the proliferation of people just nodding their heads to acknowledge that the introduction was made. come to think of it, except for this incident, i can't remember the last time i extended my hand when meeting someone for the first time.

?

hate & love

i hate you already...





if you're into or once into a fad, i.e. havaianas, nata de coco, zagu, shawarma, frozen yogurt.





if you have a keyboard in front of you yet you still insist in writing your sentences as if you're texting. (plus hate points to people who go, "d2 n me, wer n u?")


if you speak in coño. (plus hate points if you abbreviate words that really have no abbreviation.) [we were in tags during the weekend to attend this party chong. dude it was exclusive. you have to be in the gl to get in.]




if you use the word chillax. (and i hate myself for polluting this post with that word.)




~~~

i love you already...






if you could pull off a semi fitted white shirt and jeans. (plus love points if you're mabalakang; plus hate points if you're a man who wears (semi) fitted shirts))







if you're into alternative/classic/pop/blues/hard rock music. (plus love points if you're into opm rock.) (plus plus points if you like sandwich, pedicab, up dharma down, urbandub, franco and eraserheads.)

if you like little miss sunshine, sideways and juno. (you've missed half of your life if you haven't watched any of these films.)


if you get sarcasm.

on first dates

the guy pays for everything (movie, dinner, dessert, coffee, shhhhh..arwarma) but with gift cheques. is this acceptable?

the guy uses his credit card to foot the bill. problem is he wasn't aware that the card was already maxed out and added to that he isn't liquid at the moment. to save from his further embarrassment the girl pays for the chit. minus pogi points?

is it a good gauge that the date is not going well when the girl insists on going dutch? that is instead of the (not so) usual courtesy of her offering to split the bill then the guy generously declining her offer then proceeds to taking all the damage, a tennis match ensues on who's paying for what.

~~~

more on first dates here

trending

i wouldn't have noticed it if my friend hadn't pointed out that this girl i had a thing for was looking pretty fine these days. this got me to wondering, wondering whatever happened to those girls i were in to and who were also fond of me, i.e. MU (MU = mutual understanding | may unawaan | mag-un). i didn't have any other means to check on them since i seldom talk or contact them.

(i really don't dig the idea of staying in touch or being "friends" with someone that used to be somebody in your life. it just a reminder of that part of your life as a failure. it's just pure torture. i wholeheartedly believe this with ex's but still partial with almost girlfriends. but i digress...)

enter facebook! here's the part were i thank facebook for being so widely used that it was a cinch to looking them up and instantly finding them. and it's a plus that facebook is stalker friendly. hehe.

on to the rubbing of salt on the wound. well, most of them are in a relationship, one is getting married and the rest single. (these might sound a lot to you but in reality they all can be counted using one and 2/5 of a hand.) judging from the the limited or unlimited access i had with their information and photos, which admittedly is quite inaccurate, they all seem to be doing good. and true to what my friend noticed with the first girl they all look prettier or cuter than when we were (almost) together. which just sucks for me.

but then a light bulb suddenly blazed in my head and hence the birth of the palpable corporeal enhancement tendencies via confined time proximity with me theory. in simple form, all of the women i've been involved with will look way foxier after being with me.

seeing that this theory is still on its infant stage, i am now accepting volunteers of the female persuasion to prove or disprove this. parameters will be set once i see you. till then, i'll wait for your applications.

curses!

i love the once in a blue moon curse* word i hear from women. it's alien to my ears and quite unexpected. it's like when men say their "i love yous."


*curse - not the usual shit, shet, gago or tanga. more on fuck and (pu)tangina. plus points for malutong delivery.