"So in the short term, I was glad we were friends. In the long term, though, I wasn't so sure. I don't mean that Alicia wouldn't have been a good friend to have. She'd have been a fantastic friend to have. But by that stage, I knew that I didn't want to be her friend, if you know what I mean, and I was worried that her being friendly to me meant that I didn't stand a chance with anything else."