i really don't understand this statement:
"i trust you. i just don't trust you when you're with them."
shouldn't trust be absolute?
it's like saying,
"i have nothing against you. as a whole you're a good person. it's just that i don't agree with your decisions."
or... "you look good, except, you know, when you don't"
ReplyDeletehehehe
Since when is trust absolute?
ReplyDeleteSome people I'd trust with my lunch, but not my phone, or laptop etc.
Back to the original point, I'd say it's one of two things:
1. You behave like a different person with *them* compared to when you're alone. She can't trust that other person.
(Do you think you always behave the same regardless of context?)
2. (S)he distrusts *them* more than (s)he trusts you. Maybe you're so weak willed that you'd go along with the group despite your personal standards.
Trust is context-sensitive. ;p.
ReplyDeletewhile we're at it,
"I trust everyone, I just don't trust the devil within"
lex: hehe. :P
ReplyDeletechicks: hmmm... you'd probably never catch your lunch buddy saying that statement. :P i think people that are close to you personally are more inclined to throw out that line.
1. of course your behavior might vary when your with different people. but irregardless if (s)he trust or doesn't the people your with, (s)he must trust you enough that you won't be swayed by other people to do something inappropriate.
2. meh. if that's the case it simply means that she doesn't trust you enough.
mark: i agree. different strokes for different folks.
aah, yes. fighting against inner demons. exciting! mwahahaha! >:)
Ah Jam you never fail to draw me in...
ReplyDeleteAgree with Chico and Mark here. Read "Tipping Point" may copy si Mark you can borrow and the guy who wrote it will better be able to show why trust (though it is our behavior and not trust he discusses) is (should be) contextual. People are more reactive than you might realize...
Aw hell, "Tipping point" indeed. Examples aside, does this book actually have anything you didn't learn in high school math?
ReplyDeleteIt gets me when writers like these like to coin new phrases for entirely old concepts. (Off the top of my head: Threshold, Turning point, Phase transition)
Sorry for the hijack Jam, but books like "TP" and "Blink" have been on my peeves list for a while. :3
"does this book actually have anything you didn't learn in high school math?"
ReplyDeleteheeheeehee. that's a new light(for me) to take note when i get the chance (or rather, the initiative) to finish reading Tipping point again.
well, the examples in those books are pretty cool, if you like anecdotes and stuff.
ReplyDeletethere are a lot of things i didn't learn in hs math, so i should probably read these books?
getting back to your post, having a low 'threshold' of trust is better.
han: hehe. :P well i do agree that everyone has their own take on trust. it's just that for me... well... :P
ReplyDeletechicks: it's all good. is TP a math book? interesting... :D
mark: pahiram nga ng book na yan. ;)
jem: is low threshold = less trust? if so low threshold is meh. hehe. :P
Hi Jam!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't get offended when someone says that to you.
On Trust: If I had said that, I meant: I don't trust you enough when you're with them, which cuts to: I don't trust you enough.
On nothing against you: Disagreeing with someone's decisions has nothing to do with holding grudges against that someone or harboring ill feelings against that someone.
Like for example: I don't agree with you when you said that trust should be absolute but I don't hate you for that.
Tanong mo na din sa nagsabi sayo. Hehe :p Peace!
ange: so why do you have to say that you trust someone when you really don't trust him? :?
ReplyDeletewell it sounds better when you put it that way... :P maybe it should've been said to me in that manner. (or i just took it in the wrong way in that moment.)
no worries... ;)
Jam, tough question. I would say that to someone because my idea of trust is not absolute.
ReplyDeleteWe're under the assumption that I don't trust someone enough. Which means I don't trust that someone completely.
I guess in most cases, I would like myself to trust a person completely so I'd have to do away with the if's and but's that come with the statement of trust.
If I had known that adding the if's and but's in the trust statement would bother or hurt the person unnecessarily, I would have just said, "I trust you" and hope and pray that the person won't fail me.
If the person failed me in the end, the trust statement remains the same. If not, then that's another if statement out of the trust picture which is always a good thing :)