if and only if

i would if i could
but i can't so i won't

not unless...

you know what i knew
and i knew what you know

maybe then...

you could be us
and i would be we

---

so i had a picture of me and luz set as my wallpaper a few weeks ago. i simply liked the pic because it caught us in a "candid" moment. of course the moment my officemates saw my wallpaper it elicited a series of querries that eventually led to the question.

officemate : uuuyyy! sino 'yan?
me : a wala. friend ko. si luz.
officemate : friend? girlfriend mo yan e.
me : 'de. friend ko lang talga yan. friends lang kami. (ang showbiz!)
officemate : hinde e. girlfriend mo yan!

last week though i changed my wallpaper to a tiled picture of my sassy girl which i acquired from jem's friendster account. an agent noticed it and this is how our little exchange went.

agent : uuuyyy! sino 'yan? asawa mo?
me : ha?! ano?
agent : 'yang nasa computer.
me : a. wala. si sassy girl yan.
agent : akala ko asawa mo. maganda sya.

today i have a new wallpaper. and as would luck would have it, after i turned on my pc, my boss saw it.

bossing : uuyy. sino 'yan?
me : ha e. wala po. friends ko po.
bossing : friends? sinong type mo dyan? yung naka-yellow?
me : ha? wala po. friends ko lang po yan. (at this time i was already opening a spreadsheet.)
bossing : o, tinago na!

---

now i'm a having second thoughts if i should go to our homecoming this weekend. as rico would put it,

"nakita ko na ang mga gusto kong makita."

links

it is such a secret place, the land of tears.

hi fans!

i'm back... indefinitely.

---

haven't blog for quite a while now. the terminal server of our branch is out of commision leaving us with no net access which then ultimately led my now undivided attention to my work.

ang bilis ng karma.

but now that i've been purged of the vile thoughts thet were once forming in my almost defiled mind after i was put in that teeth grinding kuliti inducing disposition, or should i say position, and also now that i've repented my unfinished transgression and my pseudo voyeurism, don't i deserve a little redemption?

sigh. such a deprived little boy i am.

---

alam mo ba na sa piso lang mapapasaya mo na ako?

sadyang napakababaw ng kaligayahan ko...

---

i'm using an account that's not mine so that i can have instant access. this is our secret ha?

card

i have a confession to make, cardinal.

i don't read forwarded e-mails. i don't know why, but i just find it impersonal.

there was a time that i had the patience to read those repetitive messages. but these days the moment i see the letters FW, delete delete delete.

---

i got to finish orson scott card's ender's shadow last weekend. although not as exciting as ender's game, card picking bean as the protagonist and writing the novel in bean's perspective added more flavor to ender's exploits, as well as sheding much needed light to bean's dark character.

a good read indeed.

---

downloaded the featured tekken 5 vidz at zaibatsu last saturday. watched it with awe. sweet! didn't see lei in action. but i did saw fei workin' it and am now quite interested in the guy. (not in that way, foo!) hope that the card system will be implemented here in the philippines.

dance the paranoia

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring.
a spare. surprise. beginner's luck.
eighty four. scratch a win. nakana!
banana phone.
gutter gutter. laughter. check. fly's not open.
"you're quite the anti-social, aren't you?" yes. pretty much.
ping pong ping pong ping pong ping.
laughter laughter. lookey. nothing in between my toothy. gutter.
sixty one. mark a loss. anak ng pating!
banana phone.
no X's. want X's.
group highest. one hundred forty five. lei. ff+3. d/f+1+2. ff+2.
ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
thumb sore. pinkie ache. shoulder pain.
la dee da. ho hum.
banana phone.

---

paano na lang ako kung wala ka?
buti na lang nandyan ka.

kumbaga sa bowling ikaw ay ten pin

i can't help but to hum that song. (please refer to title. [do any of you guys know the band who sang it?] )

---

me and my officemates will participate in our company's annual bowling tournament to be held at powerbowl at the power plant mall later this evening. ha! bowling. i think that the last time that i bowled was during high school. back then, and i think until now, i'm not much of a bowler. good thing that i've been ranked the lowest in my team. better that they don't expect me to pull off a paeng nepomuceno. (as if!)

---

our team name sucks! red bull. bull!

team members were required to submit their team names based on their designated color. i was about to suggest a team name but it was too late. demmet. i would've prefered the redmanizers over red bull.

but i think my suggestion wouldn't fly with my teammates.

my suggestion: red-ford white

---

~this happened a week ago during a car ride with my friends~

me : can be! can be! (while staring at a girl passing by)
friend : etong si jam lagi na lang ganyan pag may nakikita.
me : bakit ba?
friend : ang ano mo. . .
me : pagbigyan mo na ko. hanggang tingin lang naman ako e.

~this happens when i'm with jae~

a panalo girl walks by.
me : add. add. add.
jae : add. add. add.

-or-

a panalo girl walks by.
jae : add. add. add.
me : add. add. add.

~this happens when i'm alone going home from work passing gb and glorietta~

i see a pwede! girl
in my mind : how you doin'? (ala joey triviani)

-or-

i see a pwede! girl
in my mind : wassup?! (ala will ferrel)

home alone

yesterday was adobo day. i had adobo for lunch because i couldn't resist aling prime's tasty dish. and i ate adobo for dinner because i had no choice. well i did have other options but i opted for the one that didn't involve me spending my money (by the way i'm broke) and using what little energy i had left from yesterday's frantic but dull pace. i hate to say this but manang optimus's (as i'd like to call her) adobo is better than my mom's. but my mom's is free. so i guess it's better. eheh.

---

being home alone has its advantages and disadvantages. disadvantages are the added responsibility of taking care of the house, preparing my own food, and nobody to talk to (although when i'm at home i seldom talk to the people there). advantages are. . . uhmm. . . well i can only think of one advantage as of the moment so i guess it should be just an advantage. well the advantage is i get to watch what i want and not be "forced" to watch those telenovelas especially marina(bleh!) and that soap hiram, where heart plays as the iyakin margaret who is in love with harry the ugly farmboy, (but i'd wager that he'd turn into a pretty boy) played by an eigenman. i should stop now.

so i got to watch csi and alias while i was reading ender's shadow by orson scott card during commercial breaks. csi's episode was typical but still entertaining. the episode of alias was, and as always is, accompanied with twists that is reminescent of plot turns in a soap. come to think of it alias is like a soap but much better because the story doesn't revolve so much around sydney and vaughn's affair. plus the show has fighting scenes and features jennifer garner in those nice costumes.

also i got to catch this five minute cartoon on mtv, happy tree friends. ha! cute and morbid (like me. eheh.) it made me laughed like a lunatic.

---

so i had this dream where i was back in school. the teacher was handing out our gray test papers with the results. (so i guess the setting of my dream was in grade school.) there was a remark by my teacher on my paper that asked if i actually thought what i wrote. also i had an over perfect score. 28/27! woot woo! hehe.

maybe you guys can use the numbers that i've dreamt for betting on jueteng. rush to your local kobrador now! balato ha!

---

in-crush again. :)

five minute post

due to the content of my original post, which will undoubtedly offend most, i took the liberty of completely deleting it.

---

demmet. i'm stricken with tamaritis. too lazy to write. too lazy to work. could see my work pile up before my eyes. i must finish them.

but in the back of my mind i'm thinkin', "to hell with it! in a couple of weeks i won't be doing this." which really is a relief. but not completely.

pablo

the day is not hour by hour but pain by pain. . .

moo moo moo. . . dy

due to recent news that i've recently received regarding my work which got me in this current mood, i put off writing about the fabulous time i had with my friends last weekend.

instead, here is the gist of the places i've been to last weekend :

friday :

satrbucks (rockwell, makati city)


saturday :

avilon zoo (montalban, rizal)
max's (montalban[?], rizal)
pshs (diliman, quezon city)
shakeys (gb1, makati city)


sunday :

kfc (jupiter st., makati city)
power plant mall (rockwell, makati city)
gerry's grill (alabang town center, alabang)

---

fully booked is great! better than powerbooks. found there the complete set of ender's saga. drooled over book 4, children of the mind. will return there to purchase the book once i get my salary.

drool some more. . .